Thinking of others

President Monson’s talk from last General Conference, “What Have I Done For Someone Today?”, was among my top favorite talks from last conference. It was a talk that I really took what I heard and applied it to my daily life. What a great question to ask yourself every morning….What can I do for someone else today? Not only did I apply it to my daily routine, but I was able to encourage Novalie to look for something kind that she could do for someone everyday at school. I drive Novalie to school for several reasons, but one of them is to say the same phrases as she is getting ready to go into school……be a good friend, be a good student for her teacher, choose the right, stand up for yourself, walk away from bad situations, don’t follow friends that are making bad choices…..YES I basically say these things every single morning. Annoying right, but it will be so ingrained in her brain that my voice saying one of these things just might save her one day. I added to this list, look for ways to do something kind for someone else. Then, during her bedtime routine, we talk about if she found anything kind to do for someone else during the day and she never says no. She truely has a kind heart.

We got out of the habit after Christmas break of this. (Not all the other things, I still say all of them). Today in Relief Society, we had a lesson on this talk and I was so happy! I can’t wait to start again tomorrow and get back in the habit. Even with me not reminding Novalie for the past month, she still does kind things.

On Friday, she told me about a choice she had to make at school and she felt happy that she made the right choice. Her best friend, Lily, got hurt during recess and had to sit out the rest of recess. Novalie said she was in between Lily and another friend, Nicholas, and Nicholas was wanting to keep playing the game. Novalie said she went back and forth in her head, stay with Lily or play with Nicholas, stay with Lily or play with Nicholas. (This is exactly how she told it to me.) She said she knew it was the right thing to stay with her hurt friend so she wouldn’t be all alone during recess, so that is just what she did. Then she said Nicholas followed her and sat with them too. So, she was doing something kind, being a good friend, being a good example and choosing the right. I was very proud of her. She tells me stories like this often, but I thought I would share one here.

This next week is going to be a LONG week for me, so I was so thankful for the reminder today to look for ways to serve others. If I do that, then hopefully this week will fly by which I need it to do. I already have a list in my head of things I will do tomorrow for others. I am grateful.

Merry Christmas

Here it is Christmas Eve and those Christmas cards that I kept thinking, I’ll get to them tomorrow….well I have run out of tomorrows. Luckily I have this blog so…..I wish you all a Merry Christmas! I hope you all find JOY this Christmas. I hope Santa Clause finds you because I still BELIEVE!

Kids and Coats

What is it with kids and their winter coats? This is the scene everyday at the bus stop or when I pick Novalie up from school. Kids looking worn out with their coats dragging on the ground behind them. Today my temperature widget said it was 8 degrees when I went to meet Novalie at the bus. She had her coat on today, but she is usually one of the kids dragging it behind her. But, half the kids still had their coats dragging and it is 8 degrees! I just don’t understand it, but think it is interesting all the same. I have asked Novalie about it on several occasions and here are some of her answers: “It was hot on the bus, I didn’t have time to put it on, my backpack wouldn’t fit over it, I thought it was funny to just put the hood on, I was being silly, it gets in the way and I forgot to put it on.” Usually the majority have their coats off, so I wonder if they get together and boycott the coats. Or if they have a dragging the coat assembly at school. I know they don’t, but it is just one of those things I want to understand, but probably never will.

It reminds me of the scene in Christmas Vacation when Rusty is walking through the mall with his coat hanging down around his arms. Now that I understand. I think everyone has been in the mall sweating bullets and walked around with their coats like that. I never take my off, I would rather just suffer and make everyone around me grumpy because I am so grumpy from being so hot. Why not just take the coat off? So, I can’t get a coat on my child and I won’t take my off.

On another subject, I am so thankful today that I have a home to keep me warm from the bitter cold. I pray for those who aren’t so lucky.

Thanksgiving Break

Novalie had all of last week off school. I was so grateful and happy to have her home with me. I also had forgotten (how little time it takes) how much work and energy it takes to keep her entertained all of her waking hours. That made me be thankful for school and keeping her busy for the majority of the day even if I wish I could be at school with her. We did have a fun time and stayed up much too late every night which made Monday morning this week a challenge.

We decided to stay home for Thanksgiving this year. I just needed a break and didn’t feel like traveling anywhere. It was quiet and nice and we spent a lot of time together just the three of us. Here is a run down of what we did. Novalie had 3 playdates, we went swimming twice (once with friends and once as a family), saw Planet 51 which was cute, went to 2 WSU volleyball games which I got instantly addicted to, the library twice, many craft projects, arcade, park several times, played lots of card games (Novalie and I did), played various games such as Sonic, Super Mario, Wii (I don’t know what else…this was mostly Kevin and Novalie). One of the greatest things was that Novalie actually slept in until anywhere from 8:45 to 9:45. She never does that even if she goes to bed late so it was a real treat to sleep in.

Monday morning came much too quickly for me. Now it is back to schedules and craziness for the next three weeks! It is going to be a busy busy month for me, but I can’t wait to have Novalie home with me again for 2 weeks this time! Joyous!

Tree Decorating

The time came to put up the Christmas tree. There are certain traditions that go along with putting up our Christmas tree. And you know what? This year Novalie remembered every single detail of that tradition even better than Kevin or I remembered. Sometimes I think, oh we don’t need to do that this year. But, this experience reminded me how important traditions are especially to children. Think back to your childhood and I bet the traditions you did year after year are some of your fondest memories. They are special, you hold them close to your heart and when you are a grown up you carry on those traditions and create some of your own. Children count on them, they look forward to them and I am creating those same fond memories in Novalie right now. I love traditions. They keep you close to your family even if you are miles and miles apart. Even if it seems tedious or pointless at the time, you got to get it right because children depend on it and it is important. Not to mention, so much fun!

This is our Christmas tree decorating tradition. We have a Hickory Farms cheese, beef and crackers platter. Novalie calls it the snack platter, but it HAS to be Hickory Farms. We snack on it the whole time we are decorating the tree. Christmas music is playing. The lights have to be all out except the Christmas tree lights which Novalie reminded us of. We were all set to start and Novalie said, “wait, the lights all have to be out. That is how we did it last year.” Kevin and I looked at each other and said, “wow, she really gets what a tradition is and how important it is to have everything the same.” This year we added taking the carousel out. I LOVE my carousel. My in-laws bought it for me last year (after me wanting it for a couple of years) and it was such a struggle to put it away at the end of the season. I wanted to keep it up all year, but then I thought everyone has that one special Christmas decoration that they wait all year to take out and it is exciting and magical when it comes out for the season. As a child, my favorite was always our advent calendar that my Mom made where everyday you get to pull out a mini ornament and hang it above on the felt tree. You were the lucky one if your turn fell on the 24th because it was Santa Clause. My carousel is now my magical treasure that I look forward to getting out. Novalie was so excited to see every decoration and every ornament, so I don’t know if the carousel had any special effect on her, but it was magical and exciting to me to put it out.

We got the first tradition of the season done and many more to come in the next month. I love the Christmas season!

If you want to see pictures you will have to go to Facebook because I haven’t figured out how to shrink my pictures to work with my blog since we have updated windows and programs.

Clothing Wars

This is how getting ready for church went this afternoon……

I laid Novalie’s dress on her bed like I do every single Sunday. I told her it was time to get dressed and followed her into her room to help with tights and zipping. She took one look at the dress and this is what our conversation went like:

“I don’t like this dress! Why do I always have to wear what you want me to wear?!” Novalie says as she throws the dress on the ground.

Wow, I thought. Where did that come?!

I say, “Okay, you don’t have to wear that dress. Why don’t you pick out your dress?”

Novalie picks one that is still hanging in her closet, but has long been too short. I tell her, “that dress is too short so you will have to choose something else.”

“YOU NEVER LET ME WEAR WHAT I WANT TO!” Novalie screams! Holy smokes!

I am trying to stay calm, “I am sorry that you are so upset, but you are going to have to choose a dress that fits still,” I say.

She picks a jumper and tells me, “LEAVE, I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF!”

I walked out of the room completely stunned and speechless about what just happened. I mean she is 6 for heaven’s sake! She has never ever even come close to caring about what she wears except when it comes to jeans or pants that button. I have known for a while that she doesn’t like to wear tight fitting clothing, but that was just a normal conversation. I usually pick out her pants and let her pick out her shirt or let her pick out the pants and then I get a shirt that matches. I have always given her some choice in her outfit except on Sunday’s because their in preparation that goes into Sunday dress. Like ironing and making sure we have tights that match now that it is cold. So, I have always just laid her dress out. Let me tell you, not anymore! I am still pretty much speechless, but did get a laugh out of it when I was replaying it for Kevin. I mean this can’t be happening already?! All I can think is that I am in way over my head!

So Proud

As I watched Novalie run into school this morning with her hands full of folders, lunch box and rain boots (yes, she has a backpack, but it is to hold her stuff animals that have to go to school with her everyday….why else have a backpack, right?) I was overcome with emotion. Not the deep sadness that I felt all of September trying to adjust to this new phase of life. I was overcome with joy and pride. I said outloud to myself through my tears with a smile on my face as I watched her, “What an incredible girl!” She is just so darn fantastic and I am so proud of her!

The Bright Side

I have a lot to be thankful for which is hard to remember when I have surrounded myself with so much self pity. Enough already. There are many advantages to having this new life situation that I find myself in. I am going to look to this bright side often now and get my toosh in gear. Some of the advantages:

-I get to take a long hot bath everyday instead of a 2 minute shower.
-I get to do the treadmill without being interrupted every 30 seconds with “are you done yet? How many more minutes? Is it my turn?”
-I don’t have to find a babysitter for doctor appointments and church related happenings during the week.
-I can spend 2 hours in the fabric store if I want to (and believe me I DON’T want to, but can’t help it sometime because I have been blessed with the inability to make a decision!)
-I wish I could say that my house is spotless, but let’s be real….Novalie or no Novalie, cleaning is the pits! I keep the dishes done, floored swept, mopped and vacuumed, clothes clean and toilets clean. Anything more than that is a bonus!
-I can watch or listen to what I want when I want!
-I can even take a nap if I want to, but I haven’t yet….I will have to work on that!
-I can volunteer for more things and have time to serve more which I love.
-I can go out to lunch and it doesn’t have to be McDonald’s.
-If I am sick, I can lay in bed all day long and REST! Imagine that!
-I can read about things I am interested in on the computer or in a book and not feel guilty or be interrupted.
-I can talk on the phone for as long as I want, which I am SO not a phone talker (I despise my phone), but it is the only way I can talk to my sisters.
-I can sew all day.

There are many many more, but I feel better already listing some of them. Life is good, I have so much to be thankful for and I am so proud of Novalie and how she amazes me daily with her kindness and good choices! Now, my toes are freezing, so I am going to go take one of those long hot baths!

Changes

To say the last 6 weeks have been hard is an understatement. I feel like I may be coming back from the dead, but am making no promises. My Mom came for 2 weeks which helped, but I was tired and sad, so sorry Mom. I know it wasn’t the most fun visit! I just miss Novalie. Really, seriously miss Novalie. And our relationship has changed which is hard to come to terms with. I am Novalie’s parent. I will always be her parent first and foremost and I am a rather strict parent, but Novalie is also my best friend. I know people say it can’t be done, but those people don’t know me and Novalie. Kevin feels left out a lot because Novalie favors me, but I always tell him, the next one is all yours. Novalie and I have always done everything together and we have fun doing it. Our relationship is just as strong, but my role has changed. Now it is more of the listening and talking about school and social issues. It is the helping her be the best student she can be and being her biggest cheerleader. It is not so much the running around parks playing games anymore. Although, on the weekends we get lots of that in. It is interesting to me the change that I wasn’t expecting to happen. I feel more like a parent now instead of a playmate. It is a good thing, but with any change in life, it takes time to adjust and get a grip on what is reality and what you imagine in your head. It is like I had to mourn the lose of what was and embrace the now what is. I haven’t figured out yet what to do with all my time. I mostly just waste it right now, but I am not beating myself up about that because it is what I need at this moment. I will soon fill my days with so much that it will be too much. But, for now I am sad and I am okay with going through the sadness and not doing much. I am doing the best I can do right now in the present and that is all that is asked of us. I suppose I will always miss Novalie, but with time I will be able to handle it better.

I blinked and summer was gone

I had a really, really fun summer. Novalie and I had a really, really fun summer together. It was the fastest summer I have ever experienced. I shouldn’t have made it so fun, then maybe it would have dragged. But, I can’t change the fact that it is over. And I can’t change the fact that my sweet little baby girl is in 1st grade.

I knew 1st grade was going to be hard….on me. Seriously, I was crying a week before school started. We bought school supplies, I cried in Walmart. We went to look who her teacher was and I cried. We got a letter in the mail from her teacher and I cried (oh yeah, and I ripped it up in tiny pieces and talked to it like it wasn’t going to take my daughter). Issues, you are thinking? I would say so. I tried so hard to not let Novalie see me cry and I really talked 1st grade up like it was going to be fantastic fun so she would be excited.

I tried my hand at magic powers(to make time stop), but who knew….I don’t have magic powers. The first day of first grade arrived. IT WAS A NIGHTMARE….except I was awake and lived it. I drive Novalie to her school and on the way I chew my cheek raw from trying to not cry which worked. I can do it, I can do it….we get inside and Novalie started to cry. I wasn’t even worried about her. Last year she couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. Just a few weeks before she was telling me that I couldn’t walk her into gymnastics camp because it wasn’t cool. This I was not expecting! She cried and held onto me so tightly. She kept saying, “I don’t want to be away from you all day.” Her teacher finally had to pry her off of me and drag her away crying. That is how I left her.

You can imagine how long that day was for me and how excited I was when the time came for me to finally meet the bus. All the kids get off the bus and no Novalie. Remember when I said it was a nightmare….it was a nightmare. Her friend told me that they had to switch buses at the bus barn because only one bus comes out to our town, so all 3 elementaries transfer to one bus. Well, I didn’t know this, so of course I didn’t tell Novalie to expect this. She told her friends that she wasn’t going to switch buses because I didn’t tell her she was supposed to. I run home and call Kevin because that is the only thing I can think of to do (I couldn’t think staight). He called the school and then I thought I should call the bus department. So, I did and I listened as he called different bus drivers asking if they had Novalie and all I kept hearing was “no, I don’t have her.” Thoughts like, this can’t be happening to Novalie, to us, is she scared, is she crying, does she know that she is safe and I will find her kept running through my head. It was probably 60 seconds only until I heard, “I have her and she is asleep,” but that was a long 60 seconds where no one knew where my precious little girl was. It was horrible, just horrible! Kevin went to the bus barn because he was closer and Novalie was just fine and not affected by it. She was asleep which was such a blessing! However, it is a feeling I don’t ever ever ever want to experience again.

We are almost done with our second week of school and things got a lot better and she has the bus route down and she is excited to go to school each morning. She is one tired little girl when she gets home, but we are adjusting and will have a good year.

Last week I wandered around not really knowing what I was doing or what to do. It was like I was in a daze until Novalie got home. I had questions like…what is my purpose now, what is my role in life now? I felt completely lost and very angry. I was supposed to have 9 kids and here I am with one and she is gone all day…now what? It was a very hard week. I cried a lot and completely smothered Novalie with hugs, kisses and attention when she got home. She actually said, “you can go on the computer if you want.” I was seriously emotionally exhausted by Sunday and I just snapped out of it. Yes, I still have all those questions and I miss Novalie more than I could ever express, but am I really going to use my time to complain and have the “wo is me attitude”? That is too exhauting. Instead, I have quit my whining, I am so grateful for the blessing that Novalie is, my healthy, smart, kind, beautiful daughter and I am going to make the most of this time for me. Does that mean I won’t cry?, no…I did today because I wanted to share something with Novalie and she wasn’t there for me to do that. But, I had a little cry and then went about my day. Think of all the things I can learn and create this year. Think of all the things I can do to serve others this year. Change is hard. I didn’t think this change was going to be this difficult. It hit me like a ton of bricks, but I am brushing the bricks off and taking one step at a time. Like Novalie said in the car this morning, “summer will be here again before we know it!” I just need to blink again and it will be here.